Notice: This work is Copyright © 2003 by Simba Wiltz. This story may not be sold or used for commercial profit in any form or fashion, modified in any way, posted on a mirror site or any other Internet site without the written permission of the author. This story may not be distributed on print, magnetic, electrical or optical mediums.  This story is an independent work of fiction, and any similarities to other events or stories are coincidental.

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    "The SHIFT key, is blatant discrimination against those people with only one finger," Tracy Gaunt, a sophomore claimed, "it should be removed, and other alternatives presented for people to type special characters."

    The Students Against the Presence of the SHIFT key, also known as "SAPS", believe that it is wrong to force people with one finger to not use special characters. Even simple tasks as emailing can become impossible if you are unable to access the '@', which they believe is inconveniently located about the number 2.

    "These people have a right to email," says James Deeka, a freshman from Lizard Leg, "keeping the shift key in place is a blatant case of physical bias that is just wrong."

    The movement apparently started online, when an unusual number of people started showing up with an inability to type correctly. A lack of capital letters and punctuation (other than the occasional period) led Tracy to realize that something was wrong. When she asked why they didn't use capital letters, she said she got the message: 'what would you do if you had only one finger'. The lack of a question mark at the end of this statement pushed Tracy into action.

    About 189 students showed up for the rally, the highlight of which was the reading of their demands on the steps of South Building. Chancellor Moeser was attending a meeting off campus and was unable to attend. However, when asked about the mono-dactyl people, he said that he would give them a finger, if he could. He declined to answer which finger. His no-show only angered the members of SAPS.

    "We will not rest until we see that the SHIFT key is replaced with more viable alternatives," Tracy said, holding up a sign that said 'Off SHIFT', "and if we have to take this to the top, then we will!"

    The top, according to Tracy, involves an eventual march on Washington, D.C., along with SAPS from other schools.

    "I want to reach out to all those people who have to suffer because they are unable to use capital letters in normal IM conversation."

    According to SAPS, this condition affects one in one million IM users worldwide. According to an unofficial tally done by BoUNCe, it affects almost all IM users.