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Notice: This work is Copyright © 2003 by Simba Wiltz. This story may not be sold or used for commercial profit in any form or fashion, modified in any way, posted on a mirror site or any other Internet site without the written permission of the author. This story may not be distributed on print, magnetic, electrical or optical mediums. This story is an independent work of fiction, and any similarities to other events or stories are coincidental. The text below is in a tabled format for ease of reading and may take a few moments to load. |
Natural Logic
by SW
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Mister D. Recha opened his door to greet two young fellows who have
come to his doorstep. DR: Well, hello gentlemen. What can I do for you? Person1: We're going door to door petitioning for your help in saving our environment. DR: [scratches chin] Saving the environment? What part of the environment are you trying to save? Person2: Have you heard about the construction over Platney's River? DR: [smiling] Yes, I've heard. And I'm excited, actually. Person1: Excited? They're going to destroy one of the world's last remaining reserves for the Compton's Red-And-Orange Bellied Water Rock Catchers! DR: Reserves for the what?! Person2: [clears throat and lectures] The Compton's Red-And-Orange bellied Water Rock Catcher is a magnificent and regal bird that picks up rocks from lakes and streams and then drops them back in again. Over the course of its life it will pick up and drop almost five tons worth of rock. DR: [listening and nodding] That's impressive, but I'm failing to see why this is a problem. Person1: [emphatic] The construction will destroy the pristine habitat for these creatures! DR: They are building a hydroelectric plant! It's one of the cleanest kinds of energy you can ask for. With it, we'll be able to cut down on that old coal plant nearby. Person2: [flailing arms] But the Compton's— DR: [rolling eyes] The Compton's Red bellied— Person1: [eagerly interrupting] Red-and-orange bellied! DR: [mutters] Whatever. They'll have plenty of river to pick up rocks and drop them back into the water as they please. Person2: [desperate sounding] But this part of the Platney's River is near and dear to the Compton Red-And-Orange bellied Water Rock Catcher's hearts! DR: [crossing arms] How do you about determining what is near-and-dear to the heart of a creature that spends its life picking up rocks and dropping them? Person2: [waving it off with a hand] That's not important. What's important is that they have no right to destroy this animal's home. DR: But the construction will not destroy their home! The new energy will go toward reducing the amount of fossil fuel consumption in this area and that will help to reduce air pollution. Person2: [shaking finger] Don't try to change the subject, Mister. We're talking about Compton's Red bellied— Person1: [eagerly interrupting] Red and orange bellied! Person2: Right. Compton's Red and Orange Bellied Water Rock Catchers! Do you want to help or not? DR: [stepping back into his house] I can't sign this. It makes no sense! Person1: [sullen and bitter] Fine. When we've chained ourselves to buoys out in the river in protest, you'll be sorry! DR: [incredulous] That river is 40 degrees! Person2: [lofty tone] Yeah, but our purpose is more important than the temperature of the river! DR: [exasperated] The only thing more absurd than your purpose is the fact that I'll have to pay for your hospital bill out of my taxes! [He slams the door shut.] |
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