Notice: This work is Copyright © 2003 by Simba Wiltz. This story may not be sold or used for commercial profit in any form or fashion, modified in any way, posted on a mirror site or any other Internet site without the written permission of the author. This story may not be distributed on print, magnetic, electrical or optical mediums.  This story is an independent work, and any similarities to other works are coincidental.

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Return to Center
by SW

    As I return to the confines of my mind I am beset with unease that disturbs and enlightens me. I feel the ache of the ages, the subtle stabbing pain that has plagued our species from the beginning of time to the present. It is an ache that does not respond to painkillers of the drug kind – for there is no drug yet that can truly treat a trapped spirit. This is the ache that drives people to rage, to sorrow, to insanity, to success. This is the ache that knows its name in any number of cultures, but responds to none. This is the ache of the ages—that strange sensation where everything is wrong and yet nothing can be pinpointed. I have felt this ache for years on end—listened to the soft whimper of its pleas—attempted to discover what part of me hurt such that I could treat it. This ache has kept me alive at times, all while feeling like it was slowly killing me.

    I do not dispute the fact that human society comprised of highly developed creatures espousing a complex set of rules and regulations—most of which are unwritten. One cannot be born into human society, nor does careful practice create mastery of it. It is a game—played for growth and development in the same way that a leopard learns to pounce, or a bear learns to fish. Our instinct drives us to this game, just as herdstock know to avoid predators, we know that human society is a game we cannot escape from.
History will never record the moment when humanity turned away from acknowledgement of nature and appointed their game the greatest of all. I cannot say what occurred that made humans rule the earth they walked. At what point did we stop borrowing the land for a short period of time and begin ruling its every aspect? For all our intelligence, we are not qualified to have that kind of control over our land. Our game—our pitiful game of human society is no longer constructive without consequence. It is a game of amorphous chess where the pieces destroy the very squares used to determine their motion.

    Every creature has the capacity for destructive power—even to delight in it. A deer racing through the forest thinks nothing of the branches it breaks. A tiger practicing its pounce on its littermates thinks little of the scratches that it inflicts. Whence does this human ability to destroy entire natural systems come into play? How can we continue to play the 'human society game' while it destroys the playing field? Human society dictates that one must follow the orders set by 'superiors', determined by a variety of factors that have nothing to do with nature. When the first humans began playing the game, they could not have known that it would never end. They could not have known that their success or failure would be amplified in exponential fashion as the number of players increased over time. They could not predict that the acts of the parents in the game would position the offspring to commit the same mistakes—only to advance or retreat by means of extraordinary players over time.

    I feel the ache of the ages—and realize what it is. It is nature's call that the game be halted long enough to see. We have been playing since we were born—thrust into the game without our will or knowledge. As the game rages, the world continues to turn below us, beckoning with soft touches and gentle reminders that there is more to life than the human society games. For such an advanced species, we demonstrate an incomprehensible density of thought when nature sends us her reminders. What natural force challenges the might of a tornado or hurricane—the power of an exploding volcano or earthquake? Only in these most dire of circumstances does the human society game stop—just long enough to assure survival before doing everything possible to return to the game. We call them 'natural disasters' when they are really nature's way of screaming 'time out'.

    People, the game has gotten too big. The play—the essential play that is supposed to teach us how to live life has become so all consuming that we forget what we are playing. We cannot continue to survive on this planet if we continue our elitist attitudes toward its other denizens. Just because an insect cannot do spreadsheets does not mean it is useless. Because a tiger cannot mix chemicals does not eliminate its emotion. Because we have found ways to use nature to make life better for our species does not give us the right to abuse it! We must not wait for these natural 'time outs' to reevaluate our role on this planet.

    I feel the ache of the ages—the ache that demands I return to nature's splendor and reassume the niche I was created for. I question myself: Why do we need humans? As a human, it is not my responsibility to recycle the underbrush—insects do that far better than I. As a human, it is not my duty to trim the grasses of the world when herdstock exist for that very reason. As a human, it is not my duty to destroy the herdstock that filter through the mossy forests when nature's large predators subsist on it. What is our purpose—why were we given brains capable of abstraction and complex communication and denied the utility of other adaptations? In the silence of nature, one can hear the gentle whisper on the wind that gives the answer to our existence: humans have the capability to create synergy.

    Synergy: the act of adding two parts and creating a whole greater than either part. We are developed such that we can understand just enough of nature's ways to interact with it. We have been given the ability of widespread affect so we may use it to better our world—not destroy it in the name of our own games! In isolation from nature, we become shells of the creatures we are meant to be—unable to deal with the concept that our games are just that: games!

    I feel the ache of the ages—the game has gotten too big. We must reconnect with nature; rediscover our natural ability to create synergy. All the species are players on this amazing planet of life. It is time to stop playing our own games and return to our niche in the great circle. Our human games will continue, as they must for our species to survive—but the acknowledgement of a universe greater than that which we create is essential to our continued existence and development.